The Misadventures of Motherhood

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Mommy Dearest


This morning I packed up Mini Me and Bam Bam and headed to LAX to pick up my mom. She is here for her annual trip in which she stays for a few weeks. This year she’s ONLY staying two and a half weeks and the stress is slowly creeping in.

Prior to becoming a mother, I would say my relationship with my mom was pretty good. When I left the nest for college, I moved just a couple of hours away and was able to go home anytime I wanted. The college years was when I began to appreciate my mom and enjoyed coming home. Things changed, however, when I became a mother. And not necessarily for the better.

It took me a couple of years to catch on to the fact that she was stressing me out, and a little self-analysis to diagnosis the problems. Why is she annoying the hell outta me? This is the same woman who raised me, who I would go on shopping binges with or lounge around in her lap during the holidays and be on around the clock joke time. We were now bumping heads at every turn and I could not figure out what went wrong.

I don’t know if other moms feel this way but I needed and still need for my mother to give me space and let me mother. Her new role is grandmother and in order for there to be peace and harmony, I just need for her to be the doter not the disciplinarian. With 3 children, I have to pick and choose my battles. If I call them out on every single thing they do, I will be worn out and what I say to them will be ineffective.

As an only childe, my mother had it pretty easy with me. I respected my elders. I never talked back. I never got into trouble. I did what I was told. My cousins teased me and called me a goody two shoes. I just like to say that life is easier when you do what you’re supposed to do. My mom doesn’t understand that some days I’m just too drop dead exhausted to be concerned with Mini Me’s hair being out of place or my Big Boy’s shirt not being nicely ironed. I can’t sweat the small stuff because there is too much going on. My kids are way more involved in anything I was ever into and their extracurricular activities make for a busy social calendar.

As the years have gone by, mom has eased more into the grandmother role and less of the mother-of-the-mother role. Let us pray she is continuing in that direction this holiday stay.

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